The time has
come for the shadow to morph again. I
need to stop and consider in what direction I want to take this thing. I started out thinking perhaps I could record
a few stories and anecdotes of things I had seen and done. Not everything I have done, because some of
the things I have done are not admirable.
I do, however, have to own my own shit.
The response
to what I have put on this blog has been satisfying and rewarding. As I gained steam I went into political and
social consciousness. I have an inherent
hatred of injustice and I find too much of it in the human condition.
The past two
or three years have found me with some personal
struggles
which have weakened me to a degree. My
spirit is not quenched but I need to conserve energies in order to regain my
strength. My eyesight is diminishing to
the point that it is affecting my quality of life. I am facing the possibility
of more eye surgery. I always thought
the two worse things that could happen to me would be to lose a child or to go
blind. The Cosmic Jester has decreed.
I have been
under some pressure by some of my readers to yield to their more prurient
interest and write about my lovers. I
thought originally that I could get away with writing about other peoples
lovers. But apparently not. I shall write more on that
subject in the future. In the meantime,
if you must know------- I lost my virginity in a whorehouse in Nuevo Laredo.
She said her name was Helen. I
was 19. She was 45.
Writing
about lovers suddenly seems sort of personal.
It’s not nice to kiss and tell although I suppose I am a bit of a
libertine. I pulled the name for this
blog out of my, um, ear. It depends on
the definition of ‘lover’. Wives, ex
wives, friends and paramours just doesn’t cut it. I have had many and varied partners. The word ‘partner’ sticks in my craw. It sounds like we have staked out a gold
claim up in the mountains.
I shall
continue to write as much as I can as long as I can. I am now 72 winters. I have outlived many of my friends and most
of my enemies. I have periods of
crippling depression. I have had one too
many lovers.
Hear me my chiefs! I am tired.
My heart is sick and sad. From
where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.
Chief
Joseph
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